Regardless of what you may think, no relationship is
indestructible. Yes, there are great, epic romances out there, but even
the most solid relationships will have some form of kryptonite.
It’s not always a tragic, humiliating betrayal. Affairs aren’t the
only things that can cause a union to self-destruct. In fact, I think
most romances fail because of seemingly innocuous, everyday annoyances
that build up over months, years, or even decades. But all hope is not
lost. Here are five sneaky relationship wreckers to avoid:
Low self-esteem. Women have a habit of being
self-deprecating. We constantly complain about all of our flaws to
friends, family, and worse, the man we love. Sometimes it’s an attempt
to solicit a compliment (i.e., “No babe, you don’t look fat” or “You are
just as beautiful as when we met”). But for a lot of us, it goes beyond
fishing for compliments. We can’t stop obsessing about our weight or
wrinkles and that is very unattractive to a man. You don’t want him to
change the way he sees you — and this has nothing to do with that number
on the scale. He didn’t just fall for your looks, he was also lured by
your coolness and confidence.
Nag, nag, nag. Yes, you have a right to complain
about things. He may not take out the trash like he’s supposed to or
ever replace the toilet paper roll, but resist the urge to hound him all
the time. It’s hard, I know. But complaining about it every day will
only make the both of you miserable. Where’s the fun in coming home to a
night full of nagging. Yes, those little annoyances will still be
there, but don’t harp on them every day.
Too much sex. That’s right. Too much sex can be an
issue if you don’t have something else in common. I know couples that
solve every argument with sex. Sure, it’s fun, but there has to be
something else that grounds the relationship. And it can’t always take
the place of talking things out.
Meddling in-laws. The relationship is just between
you and your man even though it doesn’t always feel like it. Despite
your mother-in-law’s so called best intentions, her advice and
suggestions can really overstep bounds. It can be the source of endless
arguments if you start becoming angry and resentful of the unsolicited
input. Try to set some boundaries — tell the in-laws where their advice
is appreciated and when it’s best that you and your hubby handle things.
Hopefully they listen. If not, move and don’t leave a forwarding
address.
Kids. I’d argue that this is an even bigger stressor
on a relationship than financial problems. Children are a ton of work
and no one really understands just how much until they have little ones
of their own. Fights about who does the most and who does more are
inevitable. Try to work out a division of labor plan. Of course you will
still carry the lion’s share, but he should have clear responsibilities
too and be prepared to give you a much needed break.
Source: TheStir
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